Every fan of sports likes winning…a lot
But the teams that played in Buffalo…did not.
The Bills hated winning! Hated coaches and QB’s
And the Sabres? They hated scoring and D!
Now, please don’t ask why – no one quite knows the reason
The teams would suffer through every season.
Why were they so bad at hockey and football?
Some say the market was two sizes too small.
Some say it’s the owner, some say it’s Russ Brandon
Some say there were too many nostalgic hands in.
Nevertheless, they were always mediocre or worse
And no one – I said NO ONE! could break the damned curse.
The fans – the Buffalo girls and the boys
Would scream and they’d yell all the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
They’d crash through the tables – what a curious thing.
When they got together they would SING! Yes, they’d SING!
The fans wanted more; playoffs they demanded.
No matter how often they were reprimanded.
“I must build a winner, but how?” wondered TPeg.
“Can someone please help me?” the owner would beg.
He sat on his boat and he devised a plan
That would be the envy of most every man.
“I’ve got it!” he yelled, and reached for his phone.
He chartered a flight – he was heading home!
He arrived in fair Buffalo with only one purpose
He knew just the thing to break these damned curses.
He fired poor Murray and Doug Whaley, too.
He cut central scouting and before they all knew
The assistants and coaches and all of the dregs
Were out on the street thanks to TPegs.
“I’ll change the culture! I’ll bring in a winner!”
From Nashville and Pittsburgh – a pair of beginners!
And from Carolina, a coach and GM
To the championship all of these men had been.
He sat back in his chair and he grinned ear to ear.
He kicked up his feet and cracked open a beer.
He waited and waited for the fans to all praise
The work he had done in those springtime days.
Their mouths would hang open for a moment or two
But then they’d all loudly cry out “WOOOHOOOO!”
He did hear a sound, but it wasn’t a cheer.
The fans murmured softly, “What is happening here?”
Things didn’t get better as the Sabres began
To habitually cycle through every D-man.
But the Bills – something different for the fans and the press.
As he begged every person to Trust the Process!
And quarterback changes and badly schemed games
Blockers who struggled with opening lanes.
But the team kept on winning despite all the weakness
And coach Sean McDermott with all of his sleekness
He smiled and scoffed at the press’s fun questions
He handily ignored all of the outside suggestions.
“Trust the process!” he said on the podium beaming
With his bald head all shiny and gleaming.
And the fans followed suit, in the process they’d trust.
We are winning! It’s now playoffs or bust!
With the team on his back, McDermott pressed on.
On the legs of swift Tyrod and LeSean.
And the defense would bend but rarely would break.
The offense would try to make few mistakes.
Did they score lots of points? Oh, heavens no.
But they scored just enough on the run and the throw.
The process was working, for what it was worth.
The team on the cusp of a rare playoff berth.
With a win in Miami and loss a for the Ravens,
The Chargers, the Titans, and Chiefs must all cave in
For the process to have an approv-ed result.
To keep the Queen City from a violent revolt.
Pegula looked down from his house upon high.
He smiled at the people and let out a sigh.
He had ushered a winner of some kind of sort
A team in the playoffs of their given sport.
And if they would make it, the nation would say
The fanbase had grown three sizes that day.
The press and the critics and the fans one and all
Would have to say he’d done a good job after all.
On a wildcard bid, they would certainly feast.
After 17 years of crushing defeats.