A Visit From Murray

‘Twas the night before Festivus – a game day, ‘twas said

Visions of victory danced in our heads.

The weather outside was balmy and gray

But a win for the Sabres would brighten our day!

As fans flocked to their seats for a tilt with the Canes

The joy of the holidays rushed through their veins

All catcalls of, “SHOOOOOOOOOT,” would be followed with, “Please,”

For fans knew that Santa was watching, you see.

The benches were filled with the boys blue and gold

The nachos were plentiful and the beer was quite cold.

But down on the ice something wasn’t quite right.

Eichel was benched for the PP that night?

Ol’ Coach Danny B said something was funny.

The sophomore star wasn’t earning his money.

Despite all the flashy .gifs, videos, and stats

The toe drags, blind passes, snipes, apples and that;

The coach wasn’t pleased with the young man’s production


So he sat Jack on the bench and he tapped on the Moose  

“You’re up,” said Bylsma. He turned the Moose loose.

From up in the rafters, there arose such a clatter

The crowd peered above to see what was the matter!

A red-faced, bespectacled, furious sprite

Was rappelling from the rafters – it gave fans such a fright!

As he fell, he called out with a loud, rabid voice

Clearly unhappy with Danny B’s choice.

“Listen you line-juggling prim lunatic,

He’s the star of the team – you get him in quick!”

It was the Sabres’ GM, who was now on the ice

He dashed to the bench shouting things not-so-nice

The children were gleeful to catch the whole scene

Parents ignored questions of, “What does that mean?!”

As Tim Murray bounded down the redline so quick

He looked like a very angry Saint Nick!

His face was all red, his cheeks were puffed out.

He pointed his finger and continued to shout!

“If you like your job, you’ll listen to me!

Stop shaking the lines like the dice in Yahtzee!

Get Jack on the ice, keep McCabe with Risto!

The top line is O’Reilly, Moulson and Okposo!

Then Jack, Sam and Kane , then lines three and four

Now fix them back up or show yourself to the door!”

With a finger to his nose, he blew rocketed snot

Then jumped the boards – I kid you not!

He headed back to the lockers with high fives from fans.

Came back out for a moment, waved his hat at the stands,

He grinned his dark smile before disappearing from sight.


Just another Christmas in Buffalo

Just another Christmas in Buffalo

Hi, Dan. We need to have a chat.

Hi, Dan. We need to have a chat.

Yes. Yes, you did fuck up.

Yes. Yes, you did fuck up.

Fix it. Or else you'll be, "Unemployed Dan."

Fix it. Or else you'll be, "Unemployed Dan."

Erik Wollschlager