A Visit From Murray
‘Twas the night before Festivus – a game day, ‘twas said
Visions of victory danced in our heads.
The weather outside was balmy and gray
But a win for the Sabres would brighten our day!
As fans flocked to their seats for a tilt with the Canes
The joy of the holidays rushed through their veins
All catcalls of, “SHOOOOOOOOOT,” would be followed with, “Please,”
For fans knew that Santa was watching, you see.
The benches were filled with the boys blue and gold
The nachos were plentiful and the beer was quite cold.
But down on the ice something wasn’t quite right.
Eichel was benched for the PP that night?
Ol’ Coach Danny B said something was funny.
The sophomore star wasn’t earning his money.
Despite all the flashy .gifs, videos, and stats
The toe drags, blind passes, snipes, apples and that;
The coach wasn’t pleased with the young man’s production
It was working TOO WELL! HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING!
So he sat Jack on the bench and he tapped on the Moose
“You’re up,” said Bylsma. He turned the Moose loose.
From up in the rafters, there arose such a clatter
The crowd peered above to see what was the matter!
A red-faced, bespectacled, furious sprite
Was rappelling from the rafters – it gave fans such a fright!
As he fell, he called out with a loud, rabid voice
Clearly unhappy with Danny B’s choice.
“Listen you line-juggling prim lunatic,
He’s the star of the team – you get him in quick!”
It was the Sabres’ GM, who was now on the ice
He dashed to the bench shouting things not-so-nice
The children were gleeful to catch the whole scene
Parents ignored questions of, “What does that mean?!”
As Tim Murray bounded down the redline so quick
He looked like a very angry Saint Nick!
His face was all red, his cheeks were puffed out.
He pointed his finger and continued to shout!
“If you like your job, you’ll listen to me!
Stop shaking the lines like the dice in Yahtzee!
Get Jack on the ice, keep McCabe with Risto!
The top line is O’Reilly, Moulson and Okposo!
Then Jack, Sam and Kane , then lines three and four
Now fix them back up or show yourself to the door!”
With a finger to his nose, he blew rocketed snot
Then jumped the boards – I kid you not!
He headed back to the lockers with high fives from fans.
Came back out for a moment, waved his hat at the stands,
He grinned his dark smile before disappearing from sight.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL AN EICH SNIPE!
Just another Christmas in Buffalo
Hi, Dan. We need to have a chat.
Yes. Yes, you did fuck up.
Fix it. Or else you'll be, "Unemployed Dan."